I love Earworms & Song Loops, but I've also been there, where a writing commitment becomes the albatross around your neck. It's awful. Soul-crushing. I'm glad you keep finding "the thrill of it all" but if you need to take a break -- or find another outlet entirely -- I think everyone would understand. In the end, the writing has to please you first, before it can please anybody else. Thanks for everything you've written so far, and what you'll share in the future.
Thanks, Lara. I am on a bit more solid ground now. I am so grateful for the supportive community here, it's kind of overwhelming (in a good way). Writing these essays is challenging to be sure, but usually rewarding in ways that feel incomparably fulfulling. I always look forward to and appreciate your feedback.
Wow. The platitudes and comments about your posts, etc. say it all. I only hope I'll have such comments on my, well, deathbed. Ugh.
The Substack experiment does seem to be coming to a close. I've been posting - without a miss - twice a week since April 2022. And while I've got a healthy readership, etc. it's starting to drain, and while I'm not at a loss for material - and I'm definitely not into it for the (ahem) money - I'm starting to feel that I need more than just the 'satisfaction' of posting ... and the occasional like.
Bryan, you and I started our Stacks right about the same time, so I imagine we both might be experiencing similar phases. I wish I was a more consistent rider of The Bus; keeping up with so many great stacks has been as much of a struggle as writing one. I get not wanting to write into the void, but if there’s anything I can do to encourage you to keep going (more than my own selfish reasons), let me know.
Maybe you need to start incorporating more bodily function stories and controversial opinions!:)
I thought you took a bunch of time off recently and were replaying archive clips. If you went back to new stuff, I somehow missed the update. I can say that Notes has brought a lot of new subscribers to EW&SL. But I’ve rarely been on that in recent months as it triggers exactly what took me away from Facebook and Twitter.
Maybe you should do another season/volume all on the theme of death? I’m sure you wrote plenty on the topic throughout the 2.5 year bus journey.
I always appreciate your insights and comments here, and hope you renew your bus driver’s license!
Selfishly, I’m grateful this was not a farewell post. I’d noticed I hadn’t seen much from you lately and was missing your writing. I totally relate to the imposter syndrome, internal critic and the self-comparing mind as it’s something I struggle with greatly. I also relate to the shift of writing being a thrill to becoming closer to a burden. In a recent post I’d discussed my struggle with keeping my Alphabet Soup series going week in week out. In my case it was more due to feeling worn out from this long hike I’m on. But in any event, at times writing was feeling like a burden. I’m sorry you’re going through something similar.
The fact that you’re perhaps not trying to define what “this” is is a really healthy thing. It is what it is. A change in season, a break, a pause. It doesn’t heed a definition but certainly whatever “this” is will pass in due course and a new phase will emerge. The openness to accept what is and to be free to see what comes next is refreshing as is your honesty in sharing your challenges.
I loved the tunes you soundtracked your writing with this week. I’m looking forward to your next numbers feature and whatever comes out of your digital pen, and whenever that happens, I’ll be here to read it.
Mark, thanks for your kind words. I just read your piece about your own writing struggles. It's in the air, if the comments to this post are any indication.
It's a multi-pronged attack in a way as I feel guilty for not keeping up with everyone's newsletter (I'm subscribed to over 100 and have turned off notifications). Then I go on Notes and see what everyone else is doing and feel even worse. So I try and not go on Notes, but it's hard because it's become muscle memory.
In terms of your soup -- you could try making a quiche or a salad one week, mix it up with something completely different, unless the issue is time and not format. Even if the issue is time, it could be something shorter, that doesn't require creating playlists and YT links. I know how long that stuff takes, I'm working on that right now in fact. Doing the #5 songs post - hoping it will go live tomorrow. It's less mentally taxing than my usual posts but more time taxing.
What I'm saying is, hop aboard the empathy train and head over to the "burnout" lounge. We have just the beverage for what ails you.
Thanks Steve. When I was in London I created all the draft posts for the Alphabet Soup series through September including the song links and YT links. If I hadn’t done that I’m sure I would’ve, if not thrown in the towel, certainly been behind where I’d like to be in terms of keeping up with the weeks of the year.
I totally get you on feeling guilty for not “keeping up” with everyone’s newsletters. I’m at the point now that I’ll get to them when I get to them. I just don’t want to get overwhelmed by something that generally brings me joy. And I’m happily giving myself a break about that.
Steve, I get it. More than you know. I have 10-15 partially written pieces/ideas that are sitting in a folder taunting me as we speak. Finally, I broke through last week and wrote a piece called "How I Spent My Summer" that was the first personal essay in some time. So I empathize with your situation greatly, and like others, am glad you're still here.
Recently I hit upon something about Substack: I have writer's envy. Not jealousy, because I think that most of those I follow are terrific writers whose work has greatly enhanced and illuminated my life, especially when it comes to music. I'm envious of those who are prolific and profound in a way that seems effortless, when I know that it's not. If I think about it too long, it turns inward and creates self-doubt (although that section of my brain already is filled to the brim). Your essay is a reminder that I need to push those doubts aside and continue to enjoy this place as the inspiration that it is.
If I'm able to inspire you (or at least encourage) to keep at it and push through the whatever the blockage is -- malaise, doubt, overwhelm -- then it makes keeping at it myself worth it all the more. It really is, for me, a constant rebalancing of time, as I write extremely slowly, with many revisions along the way, so to keep at a weekly pace requires almost daily writing. As I don't get several hours in a row to do this, writing piecemeal is what I must do for the time being. I sometimes feed off of the energy of discovery, of finding a thread that ties all my disparate bits and bobs.
I probably also have writer's envy, but not in that I want to write like anyone else, it's more that I imagine they have structure to their lives and discipline and work on their substack from 9pm to midnight on Tuesdays and they buckle down and get it done.
For what it's worth, I'm in awe of your photography and how each image tells a story. You've probably already written about your process, how you set up your shots, do you capture stuff in the moment or do you ever set it up, wait for the sun to hit just the right angle, etc.? I'd be interested in reading that.
Oh Steve, I'm wrestling with this too. Haven't written a Catalysts post since I moved in April. It's been a challenge writing SOTD, even though there's tons of music I want to talk about. I rarely read everyone else's stacks, and I'm sad about that.
Pretty sure it has a lot to do with not having a space I feel I can work in at home (I'm typing this at the office) and also just wanting to rest. It's a blue moon today and it has to do with letting go of what is no longer needed to create a new future. Maybe that's the substacks, I don't know. Maybe when my work contract is done I'll find myself writing again. In any case, I think not putting pressure on ourselves and being open to what happens is a good place to be. Glad to see I'm not the only one in this place.
I'm sorry you are also going through this, MK. I think taking breaks is important but it's hard to know when it's time for a break or when it's time to move on? I have to say that as much as I love the communal aspect of Substack, it's a big reason why I've lasted this long, I feel tremendous guilt for not keeping up with all my generous readers who also have newsletters. You hit the nail on the head with "not putting pressure on ourselves and being open to what happens is a good place to be." It's just a hard place to find on most maps.
Thanks, Kevin. I am ovewhelmed by the kind responses. It's certainly been a challenge to keep up with both this Stack and reading other folks' stuff. I've had to stop trying to read everyone's posts. I am not a speedy writer at all, each one takes many hours to complete, and I've been focusing on non-Substack writing lately so finding that balance has been especially tricky. Hoping persevering through this piece will allow future ones to come out a little easier. I do consider you my north star, a shining example of what is possible!:)
👋I relate! When I feel creatively dry and burned out I get panicky, thinking maybe “the thrill is gone” forever. But since I have the luxury of this not being my livelihood, I try to let go of a publishing schedule and enjoy being more present and adventurous in my daily life. Hopefully some words will shake loose. It’s hard to let go of the expectations we set for ourselves.
I thought of you when I wrote this, Jen. I didn't respond to your latest piece, but I had wondered if we were both in similar funks. I had noticed you didn't post for a few weeks, and since we started around the same time, thought it might be our 2.3 year itch. Reading your piece, it's clear you have a far more healthy attitude about the dry spells. I let go of a publishing schedule too. For a while it helped keep me rolling, but then became an albatross. We've built up solid readerships; they will be there whenever we post.
I don't really know where to start, as B.B. King is one of my idols, but then again, he's enjoyed his fair share of recognition, so hopefully the King won't get too offended if I choose to focus on you.
We all go through these phases, and while some aspects vary from person to person, I often find it comes down to this: stop worrying about how others will receive what you have to give, and write about what you are really passionate about, even if you think no one else will be interested.
I'll summarise a story which might help: there was a week I was genuinely about to give up and was drafting a farewell post. Like, literally. I'm done. I felt I had run out of interesting things to say about the vinyl world. I was tired of researching and finding interesting stuff to say. And then something magically switched and I decided to give it one more try. I had literally nothing to write about, and the deadline was approaching, so I wrote something I needed no research on, because it had been my obsession for years. I wrote what I thought was a very messy post about mastering for vinyl and why some original pressings sound better than reissues. I genuinely thought "who the hell is going to digest this?". It's literally the nerdiest, geekiest thing I've ever written. I didn't know what to call it--no time for fancy titles--so I called it "The Secret to Great Vinyl Sound". It became, by far, my most successful post at the time. It did so much better than anything else I'd written at that point.
All this to say: if you feel really passionate about something, the text will write itself, and the passion will come through. If you feel you don't have the strength or discipline to finish the draft posts you mention, just leave them as they are--they're not ready for you and you are not ready for them either. Not yet, at least. You may or may not come back to them. Time will tell.
Write about what keeps you up at night even if you think no one else will read. I've decided to focus only on the stuff I feel a burning desire to express. Burning, like really burning desire. Not just "ah, this will be nice and interesting to..." No. Cut out the bullshit. Find what moves you and write about that.
Some posts have done better than others. I try not to care. When I care too much about metrics, I remind myself that, without passion, there's nothing. Sending you good vibes!
Thanks, Andres! I had actually intended this to be a farewell post. Then I kept working on it over a few days and soon it became something else. Soon the special something, that elusive joy of discovery appeared. I wish I could map out what I'm going to write about, have some sort of outline or rough script. But I can't work that way. I wish I could, as it would be much faster and relieve some stress. I want to find a way to uncover something about the connection between music and my life, and that can take many drafts and aborted posts.
I don't know if I agree that if I feel really passionate about something the text will write itself. I wish that were true, but for me my best posts are almost always the result of a ton of elbow grease and persistence.
I never write to please an outside audience. I write for myself first and foremost. I, of course, hope that what I post resonates with others, but that's not what I think about until it's already out in the world. I'm grateful that I don't have that particular struggle. I don't care about metrics either, other than comments. I kept a blog going for 5 years that had close to no responses before Substack, so the fact that I have more than 500 subscribers and get so many thoughtful comments on most every post is a blessing I do not take lightly.
I appreciate you sharing your own struggles; it's not easy to admit them (for most folks; I seem to have a special knack for it!😂). I can imagine that coming up with new topics to discuss around records and the technology, ones that you feel "passionate" about on top of that, might be challenging. I am curious if you've thought about expanding the subject matter to allow for LP-free or LP-light posts? Do you have a catalog of topics at the ready for future posts? Or do you come up with them new each week?
I now understand a bit more what you mean. Then it’s probably a case of overthing — and I know you know this already — but if you feel that the text doesn’t flow even when you’re really passionate about the topic, then you need to think less and just go for it. Especially if you’re not too paranoid about stats, or at least, more relaxed than other people. Use that to your advantage. Just try different things or angles and see what happens.
I agree that linking things to your life is great Perhaps some prompts could help you. For example, “I was walking the dogs the other day when I realised that…” and just see how far you can go. I mean, I don’t know you personally, but you strike me as the kind of guy who reflects a lot, has a very peculiar (and hilarious) sense of humour, and can link pretty much everything to music. It doesn’t matter whether it’s necessarily an earworm. Just the fact that your head is goig around in circles about something that you can kind of link to music is an earworm in and of itself.
I have tried different things with my Vinyl Room, even branching out to writing about artists or specific records every now and then, but I’ve realised what works better both for myself and my audience (at least for now) is talking a little bit about everything on a rotational basis (collection tips, vinyl news, sound hacks, a personal story, a memory associated with a certain record, etc.), but always with my own subjective views/take on things. I feel that when I show my quirkiest side (e.g. my frustration with Spotify) and link it to something bigger people respond very well.
Ha - and sometimes the ones we particularly had a blast writing and imagined would be a hit, are the lowest viewed and commented on. I'm trying to not attach value to the results of a post, but it's damn difficult.
This is so true! The irony, right? I think it’s because people want to hear a great story told with passion. What exactly it is about is less important than how desperately the author wants you to hear it.
I have always been amazed at your courage in letting your writing get so far under the hood. It is fashionable to treat all art as a therapy session, but coming from most people it feels forced or faked. Not with you. I have sometimes wondered if your process is exhausting. In any case, welcome back and I look forward to whatever direction "this" takes you.
Thanks, Charles! I like to walk that fine line between heart and fart. I just made that up. I should trademark that saying.
It is exhausting, my method, as it requires a lot of faith, time, and energy. I only loosely plan any of it out and rarely stick to said plan when I do have one. It’s one reason why I have added music-only posts, like my numbers playlist project. It’s too draining to tap into the trust and inspiration well every week.
In any case, I’m grateful to you and your continued dedication to reading my meanderings. I’ll be playing the YT playlist songs all week in prep for our album discussion next week! I shared it on notes and hopefully will recruit a new person or two.
I always look forward to your "meanderings", no dedication needed. Looking forward very much to your thoughts on the playlist! I've experimented with writing more personal stuff and was surprised when people actually responded to it, so maybe I should do more of that!
Dry spells and writer's block happen to everyone of us, Steve. As you know I write about a wide variety of topics ... mostly chasing my many interests. I don't know why, but ideas come to me from just about anywhere in the ether.
I know this. I cannot write without my full personal "buy-in," meaning I am fully committed to the challenge. I won't put in a half-assed effort on anything I do. If it means skipping a couple of weeks, so be it. Quality over quantity.
Hope what you wrote for today was cathartic. My best. Jim
Thanks, Jim. There's freedom in keeping the writing net wide, and that's what I love about your stack. I never know what's coming next! I need a bit more structure to keep me focused, but as you know, the guardrails point outward so in a sense anything goes. It was cathartic to write this piece -- my style is challenging because it requires trusting that it will all come together if I don't try and corral it too soon. I had lost that trust in myself, in my process. Maybe it was impatience mixed with burnout. Plus I don't do well in the heat. Anyway, thanks, as always, for reading.
First, great post. So enjoyable and loved the songs you used to illustrate your feelings. That Janet Jackson vid was so much fun, and a reminder of how much crazy fun we had in the 80s compared to now.
Second, my question would be is it just substack or is the disappearance of the thrill broader? As my brother keeps bemoaning, he never has any fun anymore. So we're planning to take in more live concerts and do a zipline experience. I've found a pet and a cause can also boost the overall thrill factor. Avoiding Notes (except to post) and political stacks are a must to stay sane and happy.
Third, I'm experiencing the same things sometimes and I've only been doing this four months. It's occurred to me that we're experiencing exactly what musicians do, playing for an audience and giving it our best, only to realize we haven't made any money and they haven't applauded enough or bought enough merch or the venue isn't full or they only want to hear hits. I was writing novels before this, and learned that so many famous novelists have had the same experience, being on the running wheel in a hamster cage as they try again and again to produce stuff for a fickle audience. I now applaud and am trying to emulate the artists like Todd Rundgren who have made a career of doing their own thing and said either come with me or don't but I'm not pandering to you masses who want cotton candy every time. You're getting pb&j today and an artichoke dip tomorrow.
Since I enjoy your writing and hope you keep sharing, I'm fine with you giving us whatever you want whenever you want. Just do what's fun or meaningful for you, and I'll enjoy being along for the ride.
Thanks so much for this, Ellen. Truly. It's a fine line to balance on, the fun/meaningful one, but I will keep doing my squats so I can develop the strength to keep upright for as long as I can!
I think the disappearance of the thrill is/was broader. It's all connected. It's not as simple as the thrill is lessened in all aspects, but it has had a general dulling sheen over most everything. I attribute it partly to not being a hot weather person and struggling to create in the heat. Also, some physical issues have limited the time I can spend in front of screens and typing.
I can only talk to my own experience, but in the first year I tried to post twice a week and the excitement of it all kept me going, but it wasn't sustainable, especially as it affected my sleep and exercise. So I smartly went to once a week for year two. I don't know if you are retired and have a lot of time to dedicate to writing -- if so that is awesome -- but I would bet that you might evaluate your output at some point and adjust accordingly.
I know I'm way behind reading your glorious posts, and am always amazed at how deep you can dive in such a short period of time. I joke that you and Brad Kyle are the dual engines that could!
And yes, following the Todd Rundgren approach is a great path go down.
Thanks for those kind words, Steve, and yes I'm semi-retired or couldn't do this. Also have a research and writing background so have a bag of tricks to draw on. And also planning to put all the posts in a self-published book and see how it does, so sprinting to get that done for the holidays. But no, the pace is unsustainable and I've changed my format three or four times already, but then get sucked back into writing too much as I'm a blabbermouth on paper. (That is my problem in a nutshell.)
I'm also at that point where I'm appalled at the low level of paid subscribers, which I understand is about 3% on average across substack, and how much great writing is given away for free. So I've been thinking about that challenge for creators and how we keep getting suckered into providing content that tech bros get rich from and what we can do about it. (My latest cause!)
But I'm not surprised that you're feeling a dulling sheen as the country and culture have gone haywire and it feels like we're on shifting sands. The weather makes everything worse and everyone I know has health issues. I think that's a reason I'm spending my time writing about the 60s and 70s and writing upbeat posts -- as a way to escape our current reality. There were a lot of problems then, but being young and hearty they were easier to ignore. Now I try to take joy and pleasure wherever I can find it. So when substack becomes a chore or pain in the arse, it's probably not worth doing. We'll see how long I last, but I'm glad you're on here for however long you decide it's worth it.
Lots of big topics you raise here...I want to respond to them in more depth when I have a break in the busyness. Stay tuned! Maybe I'll send you a message in Chat.
This is so important, Steve, and I’m cheered to read it. I’ve found “seasons” to my Substack have worked better for me (and hopefully my subscribers) than just writing when I feel like it. Hang in there. I’d miss ya if you left. Cheers, Mike
I am shifting toward a seasonal approach this month to see if it suits my ADHD hyper-focus tendencies better. Currently on a publishing break while I write a bunch of content. So far I love being able to write out a full series in advance!
Mike, that's so nice of you! I have always admired the seasons approach you take. I know that Bryan Padrick who writes The Bus does something similar. I'm going to think about that one. I might create a poll to find out who really cares when I post, whether keeping to a strict schedule matters as much as they say.
Depressed when the high of writing and finishing has faded? For me it’s less depression than doubt and imposter syndrome. I will admit that I do sometimes evaluate a post’s success by the response it gets.
Just popping in to let you know you're not alone. There are plenty of others who have worn these same (blue suede?) shoes. I also know people who won't even start a newsletter because they're wary of the grind and work involved. So, you are right to celebrate ("good times, come on!") what you've achieved so far, and enjoy going with the flow from now on ("these eyes will not be blinded by the light").
I really appreciate your feedback! Having done this now for almost 2 and a half years, I can attest to the benefits of keeping at it through the ups and downs. Writing these posts has been a source of creativity, self-exploration, dialogue, community and so much more. It is a balancing act though and I felt I was not giving some other areas of my life enough attention. It's been hard to figure out the most effective distribution of my time, but I'm hoping I've found a way through the quicksand.
I get it! I've felt that way about teaching and now I'm getting ready to retire. However, there's always something else out there to bring in a new thrill (this is a constant need in my life!) Writing on Substack for the past six months has been my new thrill but I'm sure my energy will wane at some point. The thing is, there are always people who get something out of our skills and abilities. Clearly, you have a talent for writing and people really enjoy it! Writing just needs to be inspired by something. Maybe it's out there yet for you to find! Is there anything you've ever wanted to write about but haven't??
Dan! Thanks so much, my friend! I'm glad you've got a path to retirement ahead of you. I agree that there's always something out there to pursue and explore to bring new thrills. I've always prided myself on being a jack of all trades and master of none! Well, maybe not always (it's led to lower paying jobs and giving up on things when they get difficult).
In terms of what I'd like to write about that I haven't...I have written a bunch of personal essays and fiction that aren't music related that I either never finished or never tried to publish or find an editor. I actually have thought about posting here a couple times a month so that I can focus on finishing some of these writing projects. A couple of them could even work for Earworm posts, but might be a bit too long.
You writing your memoir in the best songs of the year structure is right up my alley in combining music and memoir (what I describe this 'Stack as being). Have you thought about trying to compile it all into a book?
I’m planning to self publish it once I finish up this year. It’s been very cathartic doing it! Feel free to do the same thing! I’d love to hear your stories and song connections too.
That’s great! I’ve had people suggest I compile my favorite pieces into a book, but so many of them rely on Ing the songs I write about that I couldn’t possibly get the rights to include them. So I haven’t really thought it could be a legit project.
Ha, that’s what I get for typing on my phone! Im not sure what I meant by that! Probably that I reference lots of songs that would need to be included for the pieces to make sense. I could possibly rewrite them so they are more standalone.
"nothing new to say about it that hasn’t been said a million times. "
From someone with no particular credentials to say things like this:
* If you just start writing what you think and feel, it'll be yours. Don't even look at what anyone else said, until you're done.
It's what I always think when I remember Isaac Asimov on some talk show, and the host asked him "why did you write Asimov's Guide to Shakespeare, when there are a million books about Shakespeare?"
Thanks for the encouragement, Albert. I think it was mostly that I’d run out of words in general, so had nothing left to impart regarding B.B. King. His song was the inspiration for the post, which ended up being enough. I rarely look at what anyone else says before I write, as I’d never get anything posted if I did!:)
I love Earworms & Song Loops, but I've also been there, where a writing commitment becomes the albatross around your neck. It's awful. Soul-crushing. I'm glad you keep finding "the thrill of it all" but if you need to take a break -- or find another outlet entirely -- I think everyone would understand. In the end, the writing has to please you first, before it can please anybody else. Thanks for everything you've written so far, and what you'll share in the future.
Thanks, Lara. I am on a bit more solid ground now. I am so grateful for the supportive community here, it's kind of overwhelming (in a good way). Writing these essays is challenging to be sure, but usually rewarding in ways that feel incomparably fulfulling. I always look forward to and appreciate your feedback.
Wow. The platitudes and comments about your posts, etc. say it all. I only hope I'll have such comments on my, well, deathbed. Ugh.
The Substack experiment does seem to be coming to a close. I've been posting - without a miss - twice a week since April 2022. And while I've got a healthy readership, etc. it's starting to drain, and while I'm not at a loss for material - and I'm definitely not into it for the (ahem) money - I'm starting to feel that I need more than just the 'satisfaction' of posting ... and the occasional like.
Bryan, you and I started our Stacks right about the same time, so I imagine we both might be experiencing similar phases. I wish I was a more consistent rider of The Bus; keeping up with so many great stacks has been as much of a struggle as writing one. I get not wanting to write into the void, but if there’s anything I can do to encourage you to keep going (more than my own selfish reasons), let me know.
Maybe you need to start incorporating more bodily function stories and controversial opinions!:)
I thought you took a bunch of time off recently and were replaying archive clips. If you went back to new stuff, I somehow missed the update. I can say that Notes has brought a lot of new subscribers to EW&SL. But I’ve rarely been on that in recent months as it triggers exactly what took me away from Facebook and Twitter.
Maybe you should do another season/volume all on the theme of death? I’m sure you wrote plenty on the topic throughout the 2.5 year bus journey.
I always appreciate your insights and comments here, and hope you renew your bus driver’s license!
Selfishly, I’m grateful this was not a farewell post. I’d noticed I hadn’t seen much from you lately and was missing your writing. I totally relate to the imposter syndrome, internal critic and the self-comparing mind as it’s something I struggle with greatly. I also relate to the shift of writing being a thrill to becoming closer to a burden. In a recent post I’d discussed my struggle with keeping my Alphabet Soup series going week in week out. In my case it was more due to feeling worn out from this long hike I’m on. But in any event, at times writing was feeling like a burden. I’m sorry you’re going through something similar.
The fact that you’re perhaps not trying to define what “this” is is a really healthy thing. It is what it is. A change in season, a break, a pause. It doesn’t heed a definition but certainly whatever “this” is will pass in due course and a new phase will emerge. The openness to accept what is and to be free to see what comes next is refreshing as is your honesty in sharing your challenges.
I loved the tunes you soundtracked your writing with this week. I’m looking forward to your next numbers feature and whatever comes out of your digital pen, and whenever that happens, I’ll be here to read it.
Hang in there…
Mark, thanks for your kind words. I just read your piece about your own writing struggles. It's in the air, if the comments to this post are any indication.
It's a multi-pronged attack in a way as I feel guilty for not keeping up with everyone's newsletter (I'm subscribed to over 100 and have turned off notifications). Then I go on Notes and see what everyone else is doing and feel even worse. So I try and not go on Notes, but it's hard because it's become muscle memory.
In terms of your soup -- you could try making a quiche or a salad one week, mix it up with something completely different, unless the issue is time and not format. Even if the issue is time, it could be something shorter, that doesn't require creating playlists and YT links. I know how long that stuff takes, I'm working on that right now in fact. Doing the #5 songs post - hoping it will go live tomorrow. It's less mentally taxing than my usual posts but more time taxing.
What I'm saying is, hop aboard the empathy train and head over to the "burnout" lounge. We have just the beverage for what ails you.
Thanks Steve. When I was in London I created all the draft posts for the Alphabet Soup series through September including the song links and YT links. If I hadn’t done that I’m sure I would’ve, if not thrown in the towel, certainly been behind where I’d like to be in terms of keeping up with the weeks of the year.
I totally get you on feeling guilty for not “keeping up” with everyone’s newsletters. I’m at the point now that I’ll get to them when I get to them. I just don’t want to get overwhelmed by something that generally brings me joy. And I’m happily giving myself a break about that.
Steve, I get it. More than you know. I have 10-15 partially written pieces/ideas that are sitting in a folder taunting me as we speak. Finally, I broke through last week and wrote a piece called "How I Spent My Summer" that was the first personal essay in some time. So I empathize with your situation greatly, and like others, am glad you're still here.
Recently I hit upon something about Substack: I have writer's envy. Not jealousy, because I think that most of those I follow are terrific writers whose work has greatly enhanced and illuminated my life, especially when it comes to music. I'm envious of those who are prolific and profound in a way that seems effortless, when I know that it's not. If I think about it too long, it turns inward and creates self-doubt (although that section of my brain already is filled to the brim). Your essay is a reminder that I need to push those doubts aside and continue to enjoy this place as the inspiration that it is.
If I'm able to inspire you (or at least encourage) to keep at it and push through the whatever the blockage is -- malaise, doubt, overwhelm -- then it makes keeping at it myself worth it all the more. It really is, for me, a constant rebalancing of time, as I write extremely slowly, with many revisions along the way, so to keep at a weekly pace requires almost daily writing. As I don't get several hours in a row to do this, writing piecemeal is what I must do for the time being. I sometimes feed off of the energy of discovery, of finding a thread that ties all my disparate bits and bobs.
I probably also have writer's envy, but not in that I want to write like anyone else, it's more that I imagine they have structure to their lives and discipline and work on their substack from 9pm to midnight on Tuesdays and they buckle down and get it done.
For what it's worth, I'm in awe of your photography and how each image tells a story. You've probably already written about your process, how you set up your shots, do you capture stuff in the moment or do you ever set it up, wait for the sun to hit just the right angle, etc.? I'd be interested in reading that.
Oh Steve, I'm wrestling with this too. Haven't written a Catalysts post since I moved in April. It's been a challenge writing SOTD, even though there's tons of music I want to talk about. I rarely read everyone else's stacks, and I'm sad about that.
Pretty sure it has a lot to do with not having a space I feel I can work in at home (I'm typing this at the office) and also just wanting to rest. It's a blue moon today and it has to do with letting go of what is no longer needed to create a new future. Maybe that's the substacks, I don't know. Maybe when my work contract is done I'll find myself writing again. In any case, I think not putting pressure on ourselves and being open to what happens is a good place to be. Glad to see I'm not the only one in this place.
I'm sorry you are also going through this, MK. I think taking breaks is important but it's hard to know when it's time for a break or when it's time to move on? I have to say that as much as I love the communal aspect of Substack, it's a big reason why I've lasted this long, I feel tremendous guilt for not keeping up with all my generous readers who also have newsletters. You hit the nail on the head with "not putting pressure on ourselves and being open to what happens is a good place to be." It's just a hard place to find on most maps.
Other have said it better than I ever could, but all of this is relatable. Mostly, I'm just happy you're still here.
Thanks, Kevin. I am ovewhelmed by the kind responses. It's certainly been a challenge to keep up with both this Stack and reading other folks' stuff. I've had to stop trying to read everyone's posts. I am not a speedy writer at all, each one takes many hours to complete, and I've been focusing on non-Substack writing lately so finding that balance has been especially tricky. Hoping persevering through this piece will allow future ones to come out a little easier. I do consider you my north star, a shining example of what is possible!:)
👋I relate! When I feel creatively dry and burned out I get panicky, thinking maybe “the thrill is gone” forever. But since I have the luxury of this not being my livelihood, I try to let go of a publishing schedule and enjoy being more present and adventurous in my daily life. Hopefully some words will shake loose. It’s hard to let go of the expectations we set for ourselves.
I thought of you when I wrote this, Jen. I didn't respond to your latest piece, but I had wondered if we were both in similar funks. I had noticed you didn't post for a few weeks, and since we started around the same time, thought it might be our 2.3 year itch. Reading your piece, it's clear you have a far more healthy attitude about the dry spells. I let go of a publishing schedule too. For a while it helped keep me rolling, but then became an albatross. We've built up solid readerships; they will be there whenever we post.
I don't really know where to start, as B.B. King is one of my idols, but then again, he's enjoyed his fair share of recognition, so hopefully the King won't get too offended if I choose to focus on you.
We all go through these phases, and while some aspects vary from person to person, I often find it comes down to this: stop worrying about how others will receive what you have to give, and write about what you are really passionate about, even if you think no one else will be interested.
I'll summarise a story which might help: there was a week I was genuinely about to give up and was drafting a farewell post. Like, literally. I'm done. I felt I had run out of interesting things to say about the vinyl world. I was tired of researching and finding interesting stuff to say. And then something magically switched and I decided to give it one more try. I had literally nothing to write about, and the deadline was approaching, so I wrote something I needed no research on, because it had been my obsession for years. I wrote what I thought was a very messy post about mastering for vinyl and why some original pressings sound better than reissues. I genuinely thought "who the hell is going to digest this?". It's literally the nerdiest, geekiest thing I've ever written. I didn't know what to call it--no time for fancy titles--so I called it "The Secret to Great Vinyl Sound". It became, by far, my most successful post at the time. It did so much better than anything else I'd written at that point.
All this to say: if you feel really passionate about something, the text will write itself, and the passion will come through. If you feel you don't have the strength or discipline to finish the draft posts you mention, just leave them as they are--they're not ready for you and you are not ready for them either. Not yet, at least. You may or may not come back to them. Time will tell.
Write about what keeps you up at night even if you think no one else will read. I've decided to focus only on the stuff I feel a burning desire to express. Burning, like really burning desire. Not just "ah, this will be nice and interesting to..." No. Cut out the bullshit. Find what moves you and write about that.
Some posts have done better than others. I try not to care. When I care too much about metrics, I remind myself that, without passion, there's nothing. Sending you good vibes!
Thanks, Andres! I had actually intended this to be a farewell post. Then I kept working on it over a few days and soon it became something else. Soon the special something, that elusive joy of discovery appeared. I wish I could map out what I'm going to write about, have some sort of outline or rough script. But I can't work that way. I wish I could, as it would be much faster and relieve some stress. I want to find a way to uncover something about the connection between music and my life, and that can take many drafts and aborted posts.
I don't know if I agree that if I feel really passionate about something the text will write itself. I wish that were true, but for me my best posts are almost always the result of a ton of elbow grease and persistence.
I never write to please an outside audience. I write for myself first and foremost. I, of course, hope that what I post resonates with others, but that's not what I think about until it's already out in the world. I'm grateful that I don't have that particular struggle. I don't care about metrics either, other than comments. I kept a blog going for 5 years that had close to no responses before Substack, so the fact that I have more than 500 subscribers and get so many thoughtful comments on most every post is a blessing I do not take lightly.
I appreciate you sharing your own struggles; it's not easy to admit them (for most folks; I seem to have a special knack for it!😂). I can imagine that coming up with new topics to discuss around records and the technology, ones that you feel "passionate" about on top of that, might be challenging. I am curious if you've thought about expanding the subject matter to allow for LP-free or LP-light posts? Do you have a catalog of topics at the ready for future posts? Or do you come up with them new each week?
I now understand a bit more what you mean. Then it’s probably a case of overthing — and I know you know this already — but if you feel that the text doesn’t flow even when you’re really passionate about the topic, then you need to think less and just go for it. Especially if you’re not too paranoid about stats, or at least, more relaxed than other people. Use that to your advantage. Just try different things or angles and see what happens.
I agree that linking things to your life is great Perhaps some prompts could help you. For example, “I was walking the dogs the other day when I realised that…” and just see how far you can go. I mean, I don’t know you personally, but you strike me as the kind of guy who reflects a lot, has a very peculiar (and hilarious) sense of humour, and can link pretty much everything to music. It doesn’t matter whether it’s necessarily an earworm. Just the fact that your head is goig around in circles about something that you can kind of link to music is an earworm in and of itself.
I have tried different things with my Vinyl Room, even branching out to writing about artists or specific records every now and then, but I’ve realised what works better both for myself and my audience (at least for now) is talking a little bit about everything on a rotational basis (collection tips, vinyl news, sound hacks, a personal story, a memory associated with a certain record, etc.), but always with my own subjective views/take on things. I feel that when I show my quirkiest side (e.g. my frustration with Spotify) and link it to something bigger people respond very well.
The stories we often think no one will read are often the ones that resonate most with people.
Ha - and sometimes the ones we particularly had a blast writing and imagined would be a hit, are the lowest viewed and commented on. I'm trying to not attach value to the results of a post, but it's damn difficult.
It really is!
This is so true! The irony, right? I think it’s because people want to hear a great story told with passion. What exactly it is about is less important than how desperately the author wants you to hear it.
100%
I have always been amazed at your courage in letting your writing get so far under the hood. It is fashionable to treat all art as a therapy session, but coming from most people it feels forced or faked. Not with you. I have sometimes wondered if your process is exhausting. In any case, welcome back and I look forward to whatever direction "this" takes you.
Thanks, Charles! I like to walk that fine line between heart and fart. I just made that up. I should trademark that saying.
It is exhausting, my method, as it requires a lot of faith, time, and energy. I only loosely plan any of it out and rarely stick to said plan when I do have one. It’s one reason why I have added music-only posts, like my numbers playlist project. It’s too draining to tap into the trust and inspiration well every week.
In any case, I’m grateful to you and your continued dedication to reading my meanderings. I’ll be playing the YT playlist songs all week in prep for our album discussion next week! I shared it on notes and hopefully will recruit a new person or two.
I always look forward to your "meanderings", no dedication needed. Looking forward very much to your thoughts on the playlist! I've experimented with writing more personal stuff and was surprised when people actually responded to it, so maybe I should do more of that!
Dry spells and writer's block happen to everyone of us, Steve. As you know I write about a wide variety of topics ... mostly chasing my many interests. I don't know why, but ideas come to me from just about anywhere in the ether.
I know this. I cannot write without my full personal "buy-in," meaning I am fully committed to the challenge. I won't put in a half-assed effort on anything I do. If it means skipping a couple of weeks, so be it. Quality over quantity.
Hope what you wrote for today was cathartic. My best. Jim
Thanks, Jim. There's freedom in keeping the writing net wide, and that's what I love about your stack. I never know what's coming next! I need a bit more structure to keep me focused, but as you know, the guardrails point outward so in a sense anything goes. It was cathartic to write this piece -- my style is challenging because it requires trusting that it will all come together if I don't try and corral it too soon. I had lost that trust in myself, in my process. Maybe it was impatience mixed with burnout. Plus I don't do well in the heat. Anyway, thanks, as always, for reading.
First, great post. So enjoyable and loved the songs you used to illustrate your feelings. That Janet Jackson vid was so much fun, and a reminder of how much crazy fun we had in the 80s compared to now.
Second, my question would be is it just substack or is the disappearance of the thrill broader? As my brother keeps bemoaning, he never has any fun anymore. So we're planning to take in more live concerts and do a zipline experience. I've found a pet and a cause can also boost the overall thrill factor. Avoiding Notes (except to post) and political stacks are a must to stay sane and happy.
Third, I'm experiencing the same things sometimes and I've only been doing this four months. It's occurred to me that we're experiencing exactly what musicians do, playing for an audience and giving it our best, only to realize we haven't made any money and they haven't applauded enough or bought enough merch or the venue isn't full or they only want to hear hits. I was writing novels before this, and learned that so many famous novelists have had the same experience, being on the running wheel in a hamster cage as they try again and again to produce stuff for a fickle audience. I now applaud and am trying to emulate the artists like Todd Rundgren who have made a career of doing their own thing and said either come with me or don't but I'm not pandering to you masses who want cotton candy every time. You're getting pb&j today and an artichoke dip tomorrow.
Since I enjoy your writing and hope you keep sharing, I'm fine with you giving us whatever you want whenever you want. Just do what's fun or meaningful for you, and I'll enjoy being along for the ride.
Thanks so much for this, Ellen. Truly. It's a fine line to balance on, the fun/meaningful one, but I will keep doing my squats so I can develop the strength to keep upright for as long as I can!
I think the disappearance of the thrill is/was broader. It's all connected. It's not as simple as the thrill is lessened in all aspects, but it has had a general dulling sheen over most everything. I attribute it partly to not being a hot weather person and struggling to create in the heat. Also, some physical issues have limited the time I can spend in front of screens and typing.
I can only talk to my own experience, but in the first year I tried to post twice a week and the excitement of it all kept me going, but it wasn't sustainable, especially as it affected my sleep and exercise. So I smartly went to once a week for year two. I don't know if you are retired and have a lot of time to dedicate to writing -- if so that is awesome -- but I would bet that you might evaluate your output at some point and adjust accordingly.
I know I'm way behind reading your glorious posts, and am always amazed at how deep you can dive in such a short period of time. I joke that you and Brad Kyle are the dual engines that could!
And yes, following the Todd Rundgren approach is a great path go down.
Thanks for those kind words, Steve, and yes I'm semi-retired or couldn't do this. Also have a research and writing background so have a bag of tricks to draw on. And also planning to put all the posts in a self-published book and see how it does, so sprinting to get that done for the holidays. But no, the pace is unsustainable and I've changed my format three or four times already, but then get sucked back into writing too much as I'm a blabbermouth on paper. (That is my problem in a nutshell.)
I'm also at that point where I'm appalled at the low level of paid subscribers, which I understand is about 3% on average across substack, and how much great writing is given away for free. So I've been thinking about that challenge for creators and how we keep getting suckered into providing content that tech bros get rich from and what we can do about it. (My latest cause!)
But I'm not surprised that you're feeling a dulling sheen as the country and culture have gone haywire and it feels like we're on shifting sands. The weather makes everything worse and everyone I know has health issues. I think that's a reason I'm spending my time writing about the 60s and 70s and writing upbeat posts -- as a way to escape our current reality. There were a lot of problems then, but being young and hearty they were easier to ignore. Now I try to take joy and pleasure wherever I can find it. So when substack becomes a chore or pain in the arse, it's probably not worth doing. We'll see how long I last, but I'm glad you're on here for however long you decide it's worth it.
Lots of big topics you raise here...I want to respond to them in more depth when I have a break in the busyness. Stay tuned! Maybe I'll send you a message in Chat.
This is so important, Steve, and I’m cheered to read it. I’ve found “seasons” to my Substack have worked better for me (and hopefully my subscribers) than just writing when I feel like it. Hang in there. I’d miss ya if you left. Cheers, Mike
I am shifting toward a seasonal approach this month to see if it suits my ADHD hyper-focus tendencies better. Currently on a publishing break while I write a bunch of content. So far I love being able to write out a full series in advance!
Mike, that's so nice of you! I have always admired the seasons approach you take. I know that Bryan Padrick who writes The Bus does something similar. I'm going to think about that one. I might create a poll to find out who really cares when I post, whether keeping to a strict schedule matters as much as they say.
Good ideas. This is not always easy! I kinda get depressed after I post a newsletter, even if it’s a hit like the last one was, oddly. You never know.
Depressed when the high of writing and finishing has faded? For me it’s less depression than doubt and imposter syndrome. I will admit that I do sometimes evaluate a post’s success by the response it gets.
Just popping in to let you know you're not alone. There are plenty of others who have worn these same (blue suede?) shoes. I also know people who won't even start a newsletter because they're wary of the grind and work involved. So, you are right to celebrate ("good times, come on!") what you've achieved so far, and enjoy going with the flow from now on ("these eyes will not be blinded by the light").
I really appreciate your feedback! Having done this now for almost 2 and a half years, I can attest to the benefits of keeping at it through the ups and downs. Writing these posts has been a source of creativity, self-exploration, dialogue, community and so much more. It is a balancing act though and I felt I was not giving some other areas of my life enough attention. It's been hard to figure out the most effective distribution of my time, but I'm hoping I've found a way through the quicksand.
I get it! I've felt that way about teaching and now I'm getting ready to retire. However, there's always something else out there to bring in a new thrill (this is a constant need in my life!) Writing on Substack for the past six months has been my new thrill but I'm sure my energy will wane at some point. The thing is, there are always people who get something out of our skills and abilities. Clearly, you have a talent for writing and people really enjoy it! Writing just needs to be inspired by something. Maybe it's out there yet for you to find! Is there anything you've ever wanted to write about but haven't??
Dan! Thanks so much, my friend! I'm glad you've got a path to retirement ahead of you. I agree that there's always something out there to pursue and explore to bring new thrills. I've always prided myself on being a jack of all trades and master of none! Well, maybe not always (it's led to lower paying jobs and giving up on things when they get difficult).
In terms of what I'd like to write about that I haven't...I have written a bunch of personal essays and fiction that aren't music related that I either never finished or never tried to publish or find an editor. I actually have thought about posting here a couple times a month so that I can focus on finishing some of these writing projects. A couple of them could even work for Earworm posts, but might be a bit too long.
You writing your memoir in the best songs of the year structure is right up my alley in combining music and memoir (what I describe this 'Stack as being). Have you thought about trying to compile it all into a book?
I’m planning to self publish it once I finish up this year. It’s been very cathartic doing it! Feel free to do the same thing! I’d love to hear your stories and song connections too.
That’s great! I’ve had people suggest I compile my favorite pieces into a book, but so many of them rely on Ing the songs I write about that I couldn’t possibly get the rights to include them. So I haven’t really thought it could be a legit project.
What are the Ing songs? Do you mean links?
Ha, that’s what I get for typing on my phone! Im not sure what I meant by that! Probably that I reference lots of songs that would need to be included for the pieces to make sense. I could possibly rewrite them so they are more standalone.
Great to have you back!
Thanks, Raphy! Super appreciate it!🙏
"nothing new to say about it that hasn’t been said a million times. "
From someone with no particular credentials to say things like this:
* If you just start writing what you think and feel, it'll be yours. Don't even look at what anyone else said, until you're done.
It's what I always think when I remember Isaac Asimov on some talk show, and the host asked him "why did you write Asimov's Guide to Shakespeare, when there are a million books about Shakespeare?"
He said, "Yeah, but not by me."
Thanks for the encouragement, Albert. I think it was mostly that I’d run out of words in general, so had nothing left to impart regarding B.B. King. His song was the inspiration for the post, which ended up being enough. I rarely look at what anyone else says before I write, as I’d never get anything posted if I did!:)