TWEET:🐥 The Police - Miss Gradenko
Is anybody alive in here? Is anybody at all in here? Nobody but us in here. Nobody but us.
Bold statement time.
“Miss Gradenko” is the best song on The Police’ 1983 album, Synchronicity.
I’m not just saying that to be controversial. Okay, I am. A little.
Stewart Copeland has always been my favorite officer in the band. I will always acknowledge the brilliance of Sting and Andy Summers, and the band would never have succeeded without all three of them, but Stewart was the fire in the belly of the beast. He was the professor. He was the comedian. He was the instigator and the agitator.
And he was a fine, fine songwriter and composer as well.
I posit that it was Copeland’s sense of humor that kept The Police from becoming dull and self-serious. He was the perfect foil for Sting. Until he wasn’t.
Let’s take a look at the band’s final album, Synchronicity.
“Wrapped Around Your Finger,” “King of Pain,” “Every Breath You Take.” Good songs, deserved hit songs, but a little too precious. They sound more like precursors to Sting’s solo debut, The Dream of the Blue Turtles.
It’s interesting that those three songs all appear on side two of the album. It’s almost as if the sides had accidentally gotten flipped and the band just said, “It’s fine, let’s go with it.”
The order of songs on side one in particular creates a bit of intriguing sonic whiplash.
After starting off with the propulsively energized “Synchronicity 1,” the pace suddenly drops down like 100bpms with the gentle “Walking in Your Footsteps,” an oddly entrancing blend of African percussion and a melody that sounds like a children’s tune. But lyrically it’s about the extinction of dinosaurs and if we don’t watch out, man. For me, what makes the track work is Andy’s elephant-like guitar squawks.
Track 3, “O My God” is the first song that calls back to The Police of previous albums, like Zenyatta Mondatta and Ghost in the Machine. The funky groove, embellished with sax and a fat bass line, is excellent — it’s one of my favorite Police tracks — but I feel like it would fit better on side two. Maybe between “Every Breath You Take” and “King of Pain.”
Track 4, “Mother,” is an Andy Summers composition in every facet. He even “sings” the song. If you can call his caterwauling singing. Some people hate this song. I am not one of them, but I can understand the reaction.
But the result of all the “Mother” hate is that the last track on side A, “Miss Gradenko” (written by and sung by Stewart Copeland), was often overlooked, as many people simply turned the record over in the middle of “Mother.” It’s unfortunate, but one saving grace is that the year this album was released was the same year CDs became available for purchase in record stores.
So it became easier to skip past “Mother” with the press of a button and go straight to “Miss Gradenko.” However, I think most people back then bought Synchronicity as a record or cassette tape and simply played side two. The side with all the hit singles.
Well, their loss. Side A is the better side.
As for “Miss Gradenko,” this was one of many songs Stewart Copeland wrote (and sang on, like this one) for The Police. He also released a super fun EP in 1980 under the name Klark Kent. It’s very much in the vein of “Miss Gradenko.” Short, high-energy, power-poppy songs that make you pogo around the room. One of the songs on the EP, “Don’t Care,” reached the top-50 in the UK Billboard charts. Below is an awesome live version from Copeland’s appearance on Top of the Pops. He’s even got Sting and Andy playing on this!
Other Police songs Copeland wrote:
Bombs Away
Contact
Darkness
Does Everyone Stare
Fall Out
It’s Alright For You (with Sting)
Landlord (with Sting)
Nothing Achieving
On Any Other Day
Rehumanize Yourself (with Sting)
I’m probably missing a couple. My point is, Stewart Copeland was the true multi-hyphenate rock star in The Police. He’s scored countless films and TV shows, and was nominated for a Grammy for his work on the Rumble Fish soundtrack. His credits are massive. Check out his Wiki to see how extensive.
As for the earworm part? It’s the subtitle of this piece.
I no longer think I was being controversial. “Miss Gradenko” is definitely the best song on Synchronicity.
And am I alone in finding the tracking order on the album odd?
Do you have a favorite Stewart Copeland song/soundtrack/project/score?
Had you heard Klark Kent before?
My favorite policeman (though Andy is a close 2nd, followed by several million steps to that 3rd guy).
:)
One of my favorite tracks from this album is Tea in the Sahara. I love a good “story song” although listening to it right now it doesn’t feel quite as mystical as it did when I was 12 years old. Go figure! It’s certainly a preview of what’s to come on the Blue Turtles album.