Faith No More - Be Aggressive

Is this unexpected earworm offering me advice? A warning? Cheering me on? Providing a path to examine my family history? Or is it all just a dick joke?

1.

Often, our earworms are the equivalent of subconscious waking dreams. And they can be examined and interpreted the way dreams can.

Some have tenuous connections to events of life. Did “Boris the Spider” by The Who appear in your brain on repeat? Could it mean you’ve been on the interwebs too much and need to take a break? Perhaps you walked through a spider web that morning and mindlessly wiped the separated silk strands from your hair.

While others can be interpreted in seconds. The Beatles’ “I’m So Tired” appearing after two nights of insomnia, for example.

If an earworm is unearthed via hearing a song in a public space—meaning it wasn’t generated from inside the mind—then it is unlikely a waking-dream earworm. A muzak version of Rupert Holmes’ “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” overheard in the supermarket while shopping for groceries? If you find yourself singing the words “If you like making love at midnight/in the dunes on the cape,” on the drive home, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to spice up your relationship. Or maybe it does.

It’s not always so clear-cut whether an earworm was summoned in the mind or from some outside source, but I’m pretty sure the one spinning around my head was self-generated.

It’s a song I haven’t heard in a very long time, and I couldn’t recall which band recorded it until I looked it up. What was (and still is) stuck in my head are the words, “Be aggressive, B-E aggressive. B-E-AGG-RESSIVE. And the voices singing this are a cheerleading squad.

It’s an actual cheer that is used as the chorus to Faith No More’s “Be Aggressive,” from their 1992 platinum-selling album, Angel Dust. It’s one that high school, college, and probably professional cheerleaders have performed at football, basketball, and hockey games since the mid-1970s.

So if we're being technical, my earworm is less a song than a cheer. None of the other lyrics to the song were part of my earworm.

If you aren’t familiar with the track, but you are familiar with the cheer, it’s probably because you heard it used in one of the following two films.

Bring It On (2000)

Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)

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2.

I don’t think anyone would describe me as aggressive.

Well, at least not without the word “passive” as a qualifier.

I would describe one aspect of my passive aggressiveness as being highly skilled in the art of Jewish guilt. It’s something that has been passed down for generations, and now I am responsible for keeping the flames of mild martyrdom alive.

My Nana Muriel was my best teacher. If I was eating a piece of cake that she made, she’d watch me like a hawk, making sure I appreciated the time and energy she expended baking.

“You didn’t think to ask your Nana if she might want a bite of that cake? The person who slaved over a hot stove for hours?” she’d say, even if she’d already finished a slice herself. And when I would slide the plate over to her with a smile, she’d reply, “Oh, I’m stuffed; you finish it, tatala.”

It was a dance. It took me a while to learn the moves, but eventually I found the rhythm. It’s all about the offer of sharing. It’s all about give and take. (Or give and cake.) It’s all about being generous and then expecting praise for your ‘selfless’ generosity.

I looked up a few definitions of passive aggression, and the one I liked best describes it as having four characteristics, with dialogue examples.

1. Backhanded compliments and sarcasm. “You are so brave for wearing that outfit.”

2. Feigned ignorance. “I forgot your mom was coming today. My mistake.”

3. Verbal denial of anger: “I’m not mad. It’s fine.”

4. Intentional inefficiency and procrastination. “I’ll get to it when you stop nagging me.”

I can say with certainty that I utilize #3 and #4 in my passive-aggressive arsenal, but #1 and #2 are not my jam. I’m not a backhanded compliment sort of person. And I’m pretty sure I don’t feign ignorance. I’m just actually ignorant. I definitely will tell people that I’m fine when I’m not (this goes back to childhood, growing up with a sister with a lot of attention needs), and I will admit to putting conditions on actions. I’ll do this if you’ll do that. I might see it as negotiating, but it’s really a form of bribery.

If there’s a place where I will admit to exhibiting active aggression, it’s on the phone dealing with the “healthcare” industrial complex. I call it steely advocacy, though it can quickly become hot, burning steel if I feel I’m getting the runaround. I could definitely practice more empathy in such situations, as I know I’m usually dealing with people just trying to get through their day.

3.

In the cheer, “Be aggressive / B-E Aggressive / BE-AGG-RESSIVE,” (click the video above to learn the dance and song!), it’s meant as a form of spirited encouragement, not “go act like a jerk and knock the shit out of the opponent.” At least that’s how I prefer to interpret it.

The cheer, in essence, is saying to the sports players, “Do your very best, and hopefully the results will lead us to a win!” That’s far too wordy, so they likely chose “aggressive” as a shorthand.

I would think that if this cheer was created in the 21st century, it might go: “Be assertive / BE Assertive / BE-ASSERTIVE.”

I just tried it myself. It doesn’t have the same feel, but I think it’s a better message.

It’s also a better message for me to take, in terms of interpreting why this cheer appeared as an earworm. I explained that I can be passive-aggressive earlier, but I can also be plain old passive. Whether it be based in a general tendency toward introversion, or a lack of confidence, I do tend to accomplish more when I get a mildly assertive kick in the ass.

4.

Speaking of a kick in the ass, the song “Be Aggressive” was written by Faith No More keyboardist Roddy Bottum. (Okay, that’s a terrible pun and segue.)

Perhaps I have lived under a rock, but I didn’t realize this song was, in fact, about blowjobs. More specifically, man-on-man blowjobs.

Looking now at the lyrics, it seems obvious that this is what the song is about. For example, the second verse:

What someone else
Would leave behind
And spit it out, let go to waste
I claim as mine
You’re my flavor of the week

I swallow, I swallow
I swallow, I swallow

Roddy, who is gay, thought it would be funny to make vocalist Mike Patton, who is straight, sing a song about male oral sex.

Clearly Roddy didn’t know Mike Patton well if he thought this would make Mike uncomfortable. As producer Matt Wallace explains in the clip below, Patton and the band as a whole loved to push boundaries and buttons.

The song starts with a foreboding church organ intro and then gets downright funky when the guitar, drums, bass, and keys break in for a few bars before Mike Patton enters and rap/sings the first verse. It’s a bit chaotic, and then it drops back to just organ swells, with Patton crooning, “I swallow” a few times. Then there’s a fairly awful guitar solo, followed by verse two. The song ends with the choir chanting “go” and “fight” several times as the band ratchets up the volume, finally decrescendoing along to a final cheer.

According to my limited research, the chorus in the song is actually sung by a choir of boys. Which would make sense, as I was a bit confused, as I’d thought it was a female cheerleading squad singing. I imagine that Roddy Bottum talks about the origins of the song in some detail in his memoir, The Royal We, which I have not read.

I do wonder, though, which came first, the cheer or the blowjob theme? It’s a variation on the chicken or the egg conundrum. My money is on the cheer and blowjob happening at the same time.

Amazingly, “Be Aggressive” was released as a single, and, according to Wikipedia, peaked at No. 3 on the Official UK Singles Chart in January 1993, making it the band's highest-charting UK single.

Even higher than their 1989 breakout hit “Epic.”

This success, though, was most likely due to the song on the opposite side of the single: their cover of The Commodores’ “Easy.”

Because the U.S. is a strange and repressed nation, “Be Aggressive” didn’t chart at all on the Billboard Top 100.

5.

Writing this essay was anything but “Easy.” I tried to be aggressive. Maybe a little of it seeped out despite it not being my nature.

I will admit that discovering what this song is about 2/3 of the way into writing it threw me off kilter. I’m the king of tangents, but going from dreams to my grandma to cheerleading to gay sex, and then bringing it all together like it was meant to be, well, I think I pulled it off. But I’m struggling with how to finish.

My wife said that I should end this by claiming that all this guys-giving-blowjobs talk has inspired me to create a Grindr profile. She even offered to help me set it up.

I told her that while it’s a great idea, I was leaning more toward announcing that I was rehearsing for cheerleader tryouts. She responded by aggressively shouting, “You’re the writer, do what you want. But dinner’s ready. And you better swallow every last bite!”

• You never know what you’re gonna get at Earworms and Song Loops! I welcome comments on whatever tickles your fancy!

• Are you familiar with this song? With the cheer? Have you ever given the cheer? Have you ever given, oh never mind.

• I get a lot of new subscribers each month, and I get an almost equal number of unsubscribers. If I get extra unsubscribes this week, I’ll take it as a sign that folks are reading this to the end! 😃

• Speaking of things shaped like penises, the cucumber patch in my garden is off the hook right now. This is the harvest from yesterday.

• Before I forget, next week we will have a new STUDS episode, featuring my friend and Substack/Musicstack legend Brad Kyle. You won’t want to miss it!