Confidence Man - What I Like

Loving me is what you like

Photo by Blake Weyland on Unsplash

So I’ve been in a funk the past couple of days and not at all in the mood to write and explore song and self.

I already wrote a piece earlier this week, on the Ronnie James Dio orchestrated all-star heavy metal fundraiser song, “Stars.” That one was pretty good. I felt that met my semi-high standards for these here newsletters.

But since then, I’ve felt a nagging tug of imposter syndrome, wrapped in an itchy blanket of generalized malaise.

Perhaps it’s a normal response to jet lag, having spent the last week in Ohio and getting home late Monday night at 1am (really 4am to my EST-adjusted body).

It feels like more than that though. I’m not sleepy. I’m not physically exhausted. I’ve felt a noticeable dearth of enthusiasm, yes, but I can’t help but sense a lack of something else.

Energy. Verve. Confidence.

Despite this, I did come up with an idea for what to write about — and this evening I sat down in front of the computer and began to explore this idea. But the words were not flowing; I felt like I was writing in quicksand. My brain and fingers coated in molasses. I also ate a bag of dark-chocolate covered pretzels, so I was in a strange, blobby, sugar-coma state as well.

The new earworm piece wasn’t happening. Forcing it wasn’t an option. I had hit a wall.

So I opened Spotify and put on my 2022 best of dance mix. I needed to move my body and get out of my head.

The very first song of the mix was “What I Like” by Confidence Man.

Within nanoseconds, I was up out of my chair and bopping around my man-cave like I was the second coming of Tony Manero. I was taken over by a Night Fever, though it was still early evening.

I didn’t even make it to the rest of the dance mix. I had to hear “Confidence Man” again.

I flicked the Spotify player to repeat, turned the stereo to blast and flung my tendonitis-wracked limbs in semi-coordinated directions for 15 minutes straight, the sludge and fog of insecurity and doubt melting away and evaporating with each replay of “What I Like.”

I’m not claiming to be some sort of master choreographer or anything, but by the third time through the funky-retro C&C Music Factory by way of LCD Soundsystem tune, my middle-age moves exuded a quality of, dare I say….confidence.

I was, for a few unselfconscious moments, a Confident Man. I was channeling Har Mar Superstar in the dance-off scene of Starsky and Hutch.

For a good portion of my life, I’ve equated confidence with egotism. As braggadocio. As an air people put on to hide their insecurities.

As a person who has struggled with confidence, or with what I thought confidence was supposed to look like, I’d developed a defensive definition of confidence as an expression of phoniness. People who I saw as confident, those who rarely if ever exhibited any noticeable signs of doubt, in my mind were less in touch with their truer selves because they were afraid to expose their insecurities.

As a neurotic, hypochondriacal worrier, I felt I was simpatico with the human condition, which could be summarized as a combination of existential crisis and continuous suffering.

I have the t-shirt version of this

I would eventually come to realize that confidence was not the same thing as cockiness or false bravado. It could be quiet and tender and silly and flail around the room like a middle-aged person in velour sweats and a t-shirt that says “I like big mutts and I cannot lie.”

I’m still working toward becoming a Confidence Man, which I believe is a longer-lasting state of confidence. Being confident, from my experience, is more episodic. Periodic. Event specific. Confidence is not dependent on what is happening. It’s baked in.

Listening to Confidence Man the band, will hopefully bring me closer to this goal.

Confidence Man have been around since 2016, though their debut album, Confident Music For Confident People didn’t get released until 2018. The band is comprised of siblings Janet Planet and Sugar Bones on vocals, with Reggie Goodchild on synths and Clarence McGuffie on percussion.

Musically, they are a throwback to the early ‘90s retro-dance sound of groups like Dee-Lite and Tom Tom Club with a little bit of Groove Armada mixed in. Their lyrics are campy and both celebrate and make fun of party-all-the-time rave culture.

I do love the groove of “What I Like” maybe more than any other song on their 2022 album Tilt, though there isn’t a weak track in the bunch.

I also love how on both of their albums they play around with the whole idea of confidence, by expressing a sort of cocksure aloofness in their presentation, but also by spoofing the whole faux-cultural importance placed on appearing confident. And of appearing cool.

This aspect is captured perfectly on their song “C.O.O.L. Party” from their debut album. Lyrically it’s kind of dumb, but intentionally so, poking fun at the whole aspect of trying to find the best party when you are young and wanting to see and be seen.

So I'm busting my moves, talking to some boys
And I meet this guy, Dave
Turns out it's his birthday
And everybody's singing, "Happy birthday, Dave!"
Now I'm hot, are you guys hot?
(Yeah, I'm pretty hot)
So I take off my jacket and keep dancing
Actually, everybody's dancing
It's the party of the year
And I know, because I've been to heaps of parties
I've been to costume parties, no costume parties
Day parties, full moon parties
I even went to a party where a guy shoved a lightbulb up his ass
And to be honest, this one is the best
You know? It's the party of the year

If confidence is a large dose of silliness plus a dollop of being true to yourself while prioritizing dancing, count me in as being a confidence man and a Confidence Man Fan.

Well, dancing got me through a tough time once again. Be glad I didn’t record myself dancing around in my man-cave. You will just have to use your imagination.

What role does dancing play in your life? Does it help you release stress? Does it help you get out of your head and stop worrying? Leave your thoughts on dancing and confidence in the comments.

And as always, please share this with your friends, your fellow Substackers (if you happen to be one) and your dentist. Dentists love earworms!

And if you ever want to collaborate on a newsletter or be a guest writer, send me a note here or at ambidextwords@gmail.com.

Steve